amphetamines and jelly beans (plasticpill) wrote,
amphetamines and jelly beans

Feeling like a burrito today. I knew it was coming -- I ate too many beans in the last 24 hours. I feel fat. My face looks fat. I've been hovering around 135-136, and it's driving me mad. I know I've lost muscle mass as I have absolutely stopped exercising for the past month.

I'm trying my best not to be too hard on myself. I wanted to start walking again here, but the mosquitos have been so freaking ridiculous, I'm going to have to wait until it gets cooler so I can be heavily bundled against them. My other option (which i just now thought of, i'm not sure why) is to do some ExerciseTV, On Demand stuff.

I want to be thin so bad. I sound like a retarded teenager writing it like that, but it's true. I feel so horrible about myself all the time. There's always something wrong with me but this thing can so easily be fixed and ... I don't know.

I don't know. I'm a fat fucking loser. I need to get off my ass, stop posting here like a fucking idiot, and get to some sort of work. Guh.
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