amphetamines and jelly beans (plasticpill) wrote,
amphetamines and jelly beans
plasticpill

  • Mood:

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars.

Dinner: Burger King Tendergrill chicken sandwich with no mayo (410 cals); value onion rings (150 cal); those fucking rib things that turned out to suck (220 cal).

Today:

137.6 pounds

Breakfast: 110 calorie bagel with 5 slices turkey; 1/2 a green apple

Two and a half more pounds to go and two and a half more days to do it ... I will do it, I will. Then 5 more pounds to go and I'll be 130 ... which is not great but not as bad as before.

I told my honey last night -- I've been at 140 for so long that it is no longer "that weight that I got to after I lost weight" but "that high weight that I need to get under." I want to get that way with 130. I want to be there long enough that it comes completely unacceptable and it lights a fire under my butt again.

I also want to keep up with the hiking. The "lifting of a 25 pound baby" isn't going to stop anytime soon, but hopefully at some point I can start doing some sort of core strength exercises, since I have absolutely no core strength. I don't just want to be thin, I want to be some sort of fit. 120 pounds but toned and fit will be much better than 110 pounds of skinnyflabby.

(i really am trying to do this the healthiest way possible, i just can't kick the feelings of self-loathing associated with a number on the scale and sometimes my old tricks are just so much faster than doing it slow and steady ...)
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